Thursday, June 7, 2012

We All Hop for IHOP.

After a long, sweaty basketball practice, James, Jazzy Jeff, Jim, and Jimbo were hanging out down at the IHOP, like they always did, when their waitress, Karen came by to take their orders. She was 'their' waitress because she always worked in the same section, and they always sat at the exact same table.

"So, what'll it be tonight, boys?" she asked.

"The Us' (usual)" said James.

"Yeah, I'll have a cup o' coffee, a glass of OJ, a big steak omelette with 3 pigs in blankets in buttermilk pancakes with syrup and butter, 2 sides of bacon, and hash browns," said Jazzy Jeff.

Jazzy Jeff didn't have a usual order. Jazzy Jeff ordered something different every time, because he was jazzy.

He was also running out of new combinations. Soon he'd have to start combining items from the kid's menu with the Senior's Specials.

"The Us'" said Jim.

"I'll have what he's having" said Jimbo, motioning towards Jim.

This also happened to be Jimbo's usual order, because he always ordered exactly what Jim was having, whether or not Jim was having his Us'.

"Alright, boys," said Karen, "I'll have that out for you in a few minutes."

Just then, Clarence, the basketball team's towel boy, burst into the IHOP, and ran up to the guys' table. "Guys! Guys! Did you hear?? Old man Tetzloff kicked the bucket!!" he said.

Dr. Henry 'Old Man' Tetzloff, PhD. was the boys' history teacher. "Haha, stupid Tetzloff." said Jimbo.

"Wait, do you guys realize what this means?!" asked James.

"Yeah! No history test on Monday!" responded Jim, high-fiving Jazzy Jeff.

"Haha, stupid history test." said Jimbo.

"No, you guys don't understand!" said Clarence, anxiously. "Old man Tetzloff was putting up the money to send the team to regionals next month. Coach Jenkins says that now we'll never be able to afford the registration fee! I mean, where the hell are we gonna get seventy-five dollars?!"

"Don't you worry, kiddo," said James, "we'll think of something."

Clarence looked unconvinced. "I sure hope you guys do..." he said, "I already had those towels washed and folded... washed and folded." He wandered off, muttering something about wrinkles.

"Alright guys... how are we gonna do this?" asked James, as their food arrived.

They ate their meal in silence, each one trying, struggling to come up with some way, somehow, to make $75.

As their meal drew to a close, the fate of their trip to regionals was looking grim, until Jazzy Jeff took his last sip of OJ, and through the bottom of his glass he glimpsed one of the IHOP lights, which, refracted by the glass, sparkled and shone, just like a...

Jazzy Jeff slammed the glass down on the table, "I've got it!!!" he exclaimed. "We'll steal... The Hope Diamond!"

"Brilliant!" said Jim.

"Brilliant!" said Jimbo.

At first, James was skeptical, but after reconsidering the plan, he said "... Why, that's just jazzy enough to work, Jazzy Jeff!"

The next day, Jimbo booked the plane tickets, and payed for them too, because the other guys told him to, and before they knew it they were off, on their way to illustrious Washington D.C.

But then their plane hit a flock of Canada Geese and exploded, killing everyone on board.

It didn't matter anyway, they never would have won regionals, one of the other teams had a werewolf or something.

No comments:

Post a Comment